It has been quite a while since I left good ole British Columbia, but not a day goes by where I don’t think about the eye opening adventure that it was. The people, the mountain, and even the food constantly appear in my mind and remind me of just how thin the air was up there. Allow me to elaborate on the thin air statement; That’s how the guides would use to describe how God was more present on the mountain. A higher on the mountain, closer to heaven kind of thing.
Even the memory of waking up miserably wet and cold brings joy to my heart. Granted I do enjoy the memories where I was dry and warm more, I still do hold the memory of being utterly soaked close to my heart, and in the forefront of my mind. It helps me to know that pushing on is of the utmost importance. That if in a time in your life when your paralyzed with disappointment and sorrow if you carry on you will always make it to the top of the mountain.
Yes the trials were hard. Yes we were tired beyond belief. Yes we were freezing to the point where we were no longer cold. But do I regret any of it? Do I wish I didn’t take the hard trip up the mountain? Do I wish I were at home in my warm bed for those nine days? Absolutely not. And I thank God everyday for that.
Finally! I’ve waited for 5 years for the day that I would finally be baptized. Now that I’m here I was finally free to do the deed, and I couldn’t be happier about it. No regret shadows over me. No fear will reign in my life. I will admit that prior to the ceremony nerves started to take over and I worried if I was making a wrong decision; but after it was over I felt joy that I’ve never experienced. Joy to the point of tears. Beautifully embarrassing tears. In front of my alpha leader. In front of my friends. But this point I think everyone can understand how I was feeling after I had taken one more step towards my father in Heaven. I’ve never been more overwhelmed in my life with love. Thank you.
Guacamole. I’m not sure what has come over me recently but all I can think about is guacamole. It’s become the only thing I crave. I have stress dreams about me not being able to reach the guacamole on the top shelf. It haunts me. Should I be worried that this guacamole has a deeper meaning? or is it just an avocado mix? Most likely the latter.
I eat you all day
And I eat you in the night
never stop being good.
Well now that its evident that I’m no poet we can discuss the mystery behind the haiku. Just kidding, I believe it came off as pretty self explanatory. Pizza is ruling my life here at APU. I cant stop myself from consuming the cheesy goodness. While my brain doesn’t view this as an issue, my ever expanding stomach begs to differ. Being a naturally skinny person, its come as quite a shock to see me gaining weight at this rapid of a pace. The urge to work out becomes stronger everyday. There’s a voice in the back of my mind constantly whispering “freshman fifteen.” I would say its the evil one, as it wants me to east less pizza, but its probably just common sense. Maybe one day I’ll figure out how to balance self-indulgence and exercise, but today is not that day.
Everywhere I look all I see are knees. hairy knees, tan knees, long knees, short knees, 1 knee, 2 knee, red knee, blue knee. I even find that I see my own knees now. When did my shorts start raising higher and higher on my thigh? I mean I knew there was a different sense of fashion that was specific to the Azusa campus, but I never thought I would be so willing to join in. Its not as if anyone has told me that I have a bad sense of fashion, in fact many of people have complimented my clothes, but I still have a desire to switch to this very different form of dress. I roll the legs of my shorts, The sleeves of my shirt, and want to shave off parts of my hair. Its like being thrown into a foreign culture and wanting to be viewed as a local. Sorry my history major is showing. Although I’m somewhat reluctant to switch up what I’m used to, I’m more so excited to be able to join in on the fads going on around campus.
I can’t help but laugh to myself a little when I think about how scared I was a couple days ago. Everything seems so easy now that I’m actually here. My anticipation and anxiety over being thrown into this new place was a waste of my time. Sure I was thrown in, but it was more like being thrown into a nice warm bed. It was comfortable, and exactly what I needed. I found myself doubting a little, If i should’ve come here, or if i should’ve taken the easy route and gone to Sonoma with my best friend. I have no doubt now that I’ve made the right choice. no. That I’ve followed the right choice. Thanks APU for making it right.
Being someone who has always prided themselves on how unusual I am, it pains me slightly to make a blog of this sorts. People have recommended I make one, and, of course, as soon as I was advised to I raised my nose to the thought of it, but the further and further away I get from home seems to make me want to hold onto my memories more and more. I have a strange desire to document my time as a young adult so I can look back when I’m older; its a strange sort of future-nostalgia, as if I’m already missing memories that haven’t even happened yet. I abhor it. I worry it may hinder my ability to live in the moment. Already I can hear myself thinking “Senior year is coming up really fast.” or “Next year you’ll miss your old room and your roommate.” Shawn you’re a freshman! Actually not even a freshman yet, you’re more in a limbo state between summer and freshman year. But tomorrow you’ll break from this said limbo and officially be a college student! So rejoice as you are where you’re meant to be. Trust is all you’ll need. Good luck.